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Vote Or Die

So every so often I get groceries for Miss Maureen, this nice old lady who's well into her 90s, and has been livin' below me for at least 10 years. Her grandkids are good for nothing bums who won't help out their kin. Anyway, the other day she starts goin' on about this whole Inauguration thing and how one of her friend's son's Mr. Franklin, got some tickets to go down to DC and see the whole thing and gave 'em to her 'cause he was going to Florida. What a 90 year old lady is gonna do with tickets like that, I don't know. But anyway, bein' nice she offered them to me.

I had to tell her in the nicest way possible I ain't goin' down to DC with 3 million other crazy ass people to freeze my ass off and look at nothing. Especially for no democrat. Of course with less swearing, this is a lady my grandmother's age.

She thought I was kiddin', that there wasn't such a thing as an African-American republican, especially in New York City and especially in Harlem.

:shrugs: I told Miss Maureen I'd make sure someone who really appreciate the tickets got'em though. I'd say Munch but your bony ass would freeze quicker than mine and you'd be too afraid of the massive security like it was all some plot by the government. Anyone else?

Ain't the same spirit...

Usually I hate Christmas time. Startin' with Thanksgiving, too much superficial, hyped up crap goes down for the next month anda half. Drives me nuts. But this year, I almost wish there was that normal neon garbage. Fake as it might be, least people seem happy. I've been walkin' around the streets in Harlem, where I've spent my whole life, and for the first time inawhile, the normal Christmas spirit is dead. Yeah, it's alive down in Midtown, with all that big tree tourist trap BS. But up at home, things just ain't the same. I know, we're not exactly the best off place in the city. But the holidays gave us a chance, people that didn't have much, to cheer up once a year. People are tryin' hard, but it's just not workin'. Never thought I'd be happy to be alone for the holidays. Ken said he's goin' with his boyfriend to his parents place in Philly. Not like he's gonna be expecting anything much from my this year, he ain't a little kid. I think it'll save me a lotta grief this year.

Speakin' of grief, I've been thinkin' about Munch's bar idea. If he don't mind, I think I'll get in on it. That's if the crazy old man will let me.
Seems like all of us made it home alive after that "team building" BS that Cragen decided we should do after a night of smokin' crack or something. I say alive lightly, some of us definitely made it home in more alive states than others. (I'm lookin' at you Munch)

All that bitchin' aside, it actually wasn't half bad. Maybe that's the liquor talking, but still. No body broke no one's foot, no body killed each other. I even got someone's number.

I might even be willing to do it again. Y'all aren't half bad.

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A lotta people been going around lately, talkin' about this striking lawyer that got offed. They're sayin'a lotta people wanna kill cops, whatever, but it's a cold day when people go 'round and start killin' lawyers.

That ain't right... I know just as many people who hate on lawyers as cops.

Speakin' of cops, Munch is organizing some sorta SVU field trip-like thing. He said it was at Cragen's request. Those two old men must be goin' senile or somethin' like that.
On my way home from work some punk ass tourist kid came up and asked if I "holding any gnarl bud". I had half the mind to arrest him on the spot, but I just flashed my badge and he turned pastier than he already was and started runnin', probably back to Kansas. Dumbasses. 

May. 31st, 2008

So word on the street is Cassidy is back in town. Never met the kid before he took off, but I can't say it won't be nice to see more faces around SVU. It gets old seeing Munch's ugly mug every morning. (No offense to Liv and Rallita)

Speaking of Munch, I'll take you up on that coffee thing. Just let me know when and where.
The other day I walked into a deli a few blocks from my apartment with some friends when a group of people I know stood up and walked into the back. I knew exactly why they did it too. There's been a lot of tension up in Harlem lately. Not sayin' that there ain't usually a lot between cops and the people who live up here, but ever since the Sean Bell shooting things have gotten bad again. It's almost like I was starting to forget people don't like cops (until they need us).

Growing up, no one trusted the cops. It was us vs. them, black vs. white. There was no gray area. Those were the days of the race riots in '68, when years and years of tension and oppression opened up. My dad was killed in one of the riots. Walking home from work, minding his own business. Him and my mom were honest, hard working people and kept their hands clean. But even they never trusted the police. Back in Nigeria, they were paid off to murder people and arrest dissenters. Made the NYPD in the 60s look like Boy Scouts.

After dad died, things only got worse. When we were selling, pimping, using and whatever else, cops were the number one enemy. By the 80s, sometimes initiation into the gangs meant shooting a cop. It was the height of the crack epidemic and people were scared shitless. And it was still us vs. them and black vs. white.

By the time I joined the force, things started to change. That color barrier everyone was always goin' on about was being chipped away at. Yeah the brass was and is still an old (white) boy's club, but each academy class is gettin' closer to representin' all the different types of people we got in the city. Best way to get into neighborhoods full of crime and help too. People will talk more to the people that grew up in the same hood as they did. They trust 'em more. Relatively speaking.

Usually that's been the case for me. But no matter what I do, I'm not the kid that grew up in Morningside Heights and worked the streets. I'm the guy who grew up here but sold my soul to the NYPD. I don't think that will ever change. My identity will always be split. Too straight for the streets and too street to be straight. That's something I'm okay with
Theresa's birthday was today. Ken called and reminded me. I can't figure out why. And I can't figure out if I wanna give her a call...

He also wants me to meet his boyfriend. Once again, can't figure out why. He ain't never wanted me to do that. Must be the real deal or whatever.

Family... people always want to know why I spend so much damn time at work. Well here's your answer.

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So I'm back. You're probably wonder where I was at. You read the newspaper lately? About the big bust up in Washington Heights? Well yeah, that's where I was. Uptown, living as Big-D, a dealer from Philly. Narcotics needed some help and it involved an old rival gang, so they called me in. Can't really talk too much more about it.

I'm sure you all missed my mug around here (especially you Munch) but I'm back for good. Speaking of his bony ass, where he's at? Building a bomb shelter for the fall out after the upcoming election?

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Detective Odafin "Fin" Tutuola

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